Category Archives

2 Articles

Getting Away Together

by emedlin 0 Comments

What wonderful weekend!  Finally getting away together ….

In the past 20 years since having children we have not had time by ourselves more than one night, more than 20 miles from home. We didn’t need anything super fancy or very luxurious. We just needed time by ourselves to reconnect.  Lisa and I were finally able to spend a quiet weekend by ourselves, reconnecting.

Why is getting away together so important for married couples?

Relaxation

We all need time to recover from the stress this life puts on us.  A quiet weekend away from home and responsibilities does wonders to remove that constant feeling of being under pressure.  No more constant feeling of I have to be working on this or fixing that.

For days we could talk, relax or just sit quietly without the need to look at our watch, answer the phone or take care of some responsibility.   We have a priority to make a date at least once a week.  But that is not the same as have a few days in a row where we didn’t have something else scheduled that day.  The short weekly time alone is important as well but it does not lesson the stress that life brings nearly as much as having whole days with nothing to-do!

Bonding

Our relationships, especially the marriage relationship, is strengthened with common experiences.  Spending time, just the two of us, is priceless.  You know those couples that can complete each other sentences or know what the other is thinking without a word being said.  That kind of connection is forged by those one on one bonding moments.

Our weekend was purposely vacant of scheduled activities.  It was mostly a “fly by the seat of our pants” type of trip.

  • We went to the Oceanic for lunch, just because I’ve never been there before.
  • We went shopping, because we wanted get something memorable (and to stock the room with junk food).
  • We had to stop at Krispy Kreme — the HOT NOW light was on.Getting Away together to Krispy Kreme for some Hot Now
  • We slept when we were sleepy.
  • We ate Munchies when we were hungry.    Yes, I ate the Fat Hog.
  • We took a walk on the beach, just because it seemed like a fun thing to do at the time.
  • We saw London Has Fallen, because we wanted to see it.

None of these activities were scheduled, except for the movie time.  This took all the pressure off of us.  It was the most relaxing and wonderful time we’ve had in decades.  Several times since returning home we mentioned that we wish we were back.

Getting Away Together Again

We are definitely doing this again.  But we are not going to wait 20 years to schedule the next get away.   We committed to doing this at least once, twice or maybe four times a year.

Life changing career move
Nortel is no more

Life changing career move

by emedlin 0 Comments

Life has changed me

For over half of my life (since I was 20) I have worked for Nortel.  Even though the jobs changed fairly often, the environment stayed very familiar.  Now I am being thrust out of the nest.  Nortel is closing their doors and as of June 18th, I am unemployed.  I’m being forced into my first life changing career move.

Nortel is no more; forcing my life changing career move

For the first time since college I am job searching in the open market.  This is going to be a very new experience for me in an unfamiliar environment.  More now than ever before I must focus on what’s most import, my closest relationships.  I have learned that the most important thing we have in this life is our relationships to family, friends, work associates and anyone else that we cross paths with each day.

Over and over the Bible teaches and life experience reaffirms The Greatest Commandment (Mark 12:28-31):

 28One of the teachers of the law came and heard them debating. Noticing that Jesus had given them a good answer, he asked him, “Of all the commandments, which is the most important?”

 29“The most important one,” answered Jesus, “is this: ‘Hear, O Israel, the Lord our God, the Lord is one. 30Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ 31The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these.”

Notice that both the first and second most important commandments for our lives is to love someone other than ourselves — first God, then other people.

Each of us and everything else in this world will eventually pass away.  All that will be left behind is a legacy built on the foundation of our relationships.  Therefore every decision should be made with the goal in mind of building lasting and loving relationships, first to God and to neighbors next.

From the Parable of the Good Samaritan (Luke 10:25-37) we see that a neighbor is anyone with whom we cross paths: family, close friends, church members, social groups, work associates, classmates, the passerby on the street and the list goes on and on.  If we focus on anything, no matter how noble, and sacrifice our relationship to others, we will be working in vain.

Much of my life has been focused on providing for my family.  So much so that I have often burned the candle at both ends.  I tell myself and others that I am doing my best to keep a work/life balance.  Often times making others feel guilty or even feel punished for interrupting work related tasks.  For this, I am sorry.
C. H. Spurgeon said, “Those who loved you and were helped by you will remember you.  So carve your name on hearts and not on marble.”  I kept saying “This work must be done, done quickly and done well because otherwise I might get ranked a little lower on the totem pole and therefore could be next on the chopping block.  If I risk loosing my job, how well is that providing for my family.  I show you that I love you by keeping my job and providing for you.”  Those consistent high ratings I received in reviews over the years didn’t mean anything on June 18th.
Don’t get me wrong.  I am not bitter.  But I do realize there are risks in this world.  Circumstances are beyond our control.  Business needs change.  No matter how well we try to prepare and no matter how many hours we dedicate to trying to prevent unfortunate things from happening, they still will. Sometimes we wish for it; sometimes we are encouraged and other times we are just outright forced into a life changing career move.  Our close relationships carry us through these life changes.
I am so very fortunate to have a wonderful family that loves me, even with all of my shortcomings and lack of attention spent on building our relationships.  I also have good friends that I know will always be there for me when I need them.  And most importantly, I have a God and Saviour that will never forsake me. So I am truly blessed, but will no longer take them for granted.
I am sure that I will make mistakes.  I am sure I will not always remember to keep my number one goal in life to build loving relationships.  I am sure that even with best intentions I will make bad decisions in situations that could have been handled better.  But the goal that I will always strive for will be to build loving relationships.

So what about this life changing career move have to do with creating this blog?

 
Stephen Covey in his book The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People describes the P/PC balance.  “P” is production and “PC” is Production Capability.  It is the classic Aesop fable of The Goose That Laid the Golden Eggs.  By focusing too much on production (providing for my family) I have lost sight of what gives me that production capability, most importantly a foundation of strong loving relationship.  I have been slowly killing the goose to get more eggs.
 
Additionally there are other important areas of my life I have sacrificed as well.  Dan Miller describes “7 Areas for Achievement” in his book 48 Days to the Work You Love.  These seven areas are financial, physical, personal development, family, spiritual, social and career.  Notice the last four are all directly impacted by relationships.  The other three are indirectly impacted.
 
The purpose of this blog will be to chronicle my growth in these areas.  I will write more about my life changing career move later.  I will discuss my career dream of being in a business that educates and helps people with information technology.  The next job I find hopefully will be in that career path or it might be something else I enjoy that gives me the resources I need to further improve my other areas.  That career dream may turn in to a full time job or may continue to be a part time ministry.  God only knows and I am willing to follow where He leads me.
 
I look forward to this journey.  I hope my neighbors will join me on my life changing career move.